Rags
Vas Defrens Declares Ass Clowns To Be Fake Band
“We’re a fake band and always have been!” declared guitarist Vas Defrens of The No Talent Ass Clowns during a press conference last week. “Fake, fake, fake. Who…
Vol. 1 • The official scandal sheet
The Rags
Ink, rumor, and residual legal fees
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Ass Clown Guitarist Vas Defrens Weds Porn Star Trixie Beaumont
Controversial No Talent Ass Clowns guitarist Vas Defrens married porn star Trixie Beaumont at the musician’s “Rectal Hall” estate in Montana on Saturday. The two have been an…
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Band to Produce Film Version of “The Catcher in the Rye”
J.D. Salinger made certain no one would ever make a film of his book “The Catcher in the Rye”… or so he thought. Turns out rock bad boy…
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Band’s Plan to Perform Naked in Polar Vortex Suffers Epic Fail
The No Talent Ass Clowns plans to play an impromptu outdoor concert last night in Gooseberry Mound Park in Fargo, North Dakota while completely naked failed miserably. Six…
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Lars Gunblade to Fans: “Don’t Look at Me”
Infamous No Talent Ass Clowns singer Lars Gunblade has one thing to say to his legions of fans… don’t look at him. “I’ve been hearing these stories about…
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Ass Clowns Rock Out With Local New Mexico Band “TwaughtHammer”
World famous rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns recently took some time out of their busy touring schedule to hang out with TwaüghtHammër, a local Albuquerque, New Mexico…
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Ass Clowns To Release World’s Most Compressed CD
Rock bad boys The No Talent Ass Clowns will soon release a compressed CD that will destroy most sound systems it’s played on. Entitled Brain Dump, the new…
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A Tour of Vas Defrens’ Infamous Estate: Rectal Hall
No Talent Ass Clowns guitarist Vas Defrens has never allowed anyone to visit his Rectal Hall estate in northern Montana… until now. The No Talent Ass Clowns Worship…
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Carlos Danger: a Major Ass Clowns Fan?
In the aftermath of discovering that disgraced politician Anthony Weiner sexted under the name “Carlos Danger,” we at the Ass Clowns Worship Site noticed something peculiar… a certain…
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Vas Defrens to Spend More Time With His Ass Collection
Vas Defrens, bad-boy guitarist of The No Talent Ass Clowns, says he’s OK with the band’s plan to split. In an interview with Rock Wasteland Magazine, Defrens says…