Rags
Lars Gunblade Opens Strip Club Chain
Legendary singer Lars Gunblade of The No Talent Ass Clowns has opened a string of strip clubs. The chain, known as Take It Off, Bitch!, had grand openings…
Vol. 1 • The official scandal sheet
The Rags
Ink, rumor, and residual legal fees
Rags
Police Question Guitarist Vas Defrens About Dead Hooker
Kings Nose NJ police spent Friday night questioning Ass Clowns guitarist Vas Defrens about a dead hooker found naked in his apartment recently. Amber Anderson, 20, was dead…
Rags
Jon Stewart Ridicules Rock Legend Lars Gunblade
Apparently before he leaves The Daily Show, Jon Stewart decided there was one thing he absolutely had to do… tear into rock star Lars Gunblade’s latest interview posted…
Rags
Lars Gunblade & Vas Vefrens Give Rare On-Camera Interview
The No Talent Ass Clowns like to talk about themselves whenever they get the opportunity. But they seldom sit down for an in-depth, on-camera interview. Luckily, a Kings…
Rags
Lars Gunblade Explodes in Rock Wasteland Interview
Rock Wasteland has devoted yet another issue to The No Talent Ass Clowns. In this issue, Lars has a testy interview with famed Rock Wasteland journalist, Dora Stanhope.…
Rags
No Talent Ass Clowns Rock Long Island Bar Mitzvah
Normally, The No Talent Ass Clowns sell out major venues like Consumption Auditorium. But on Saturday night, the bad boys of rock took the stage at a Bar…
Rags
Singer Lars Gunblade Arrested For Beating Photographer
No Talent Ass Clowns singer Lars Gunblade was arrested in Kings Nose NJ early this morning after kicking a photographer in the groin nearly 60 times. “I’m not…
Rags
Drummer Joey Van Dundro Found in Love Nest with “Singer”
No Talent Ass Clowns drummer Joey Van Dundro was discovered early this morning at the New York City apartment of amateur singer Susan Alexander. He was confronted there…
Rags
New Vas Defrens CD Sparks Outrage
Bad boy rock guitarist Vas Defrens of The No Talent Ass Clowns has once again caused a firestorm of controversy with a new CD hitting stores today. The…
Rags
Dave Grohl, Lars Gunblade Christmas CD Scrapped
The much-anticipated Dave Grohl-Lars Gunblade Christmas CD collaboration isn’t happening, says Ass Clowns manager Jerry Gold. The two rock stars, who have long despised each other, were at…