Rags
Lars Gunblade’s Car Explodes. Rock Star Slightly Injured.
Early this morning, No Talent Ass Clowns front man Lars Gunblade narrowly escaped death when his car exploded near Kings Nose, NJ. Reporters at the scene found a…
Vol. 1 • The official scandal sheet
The Rags
Ink, rumor, and residual legal fees
Rags
Pete Best Conspiracy Theory Explained. Tarnishes Beatles Image!
No Talent Ass Clowns‘ front man Lars Gunblade has just released a controversial new book entitled: “The Beatles: Conspiracy Against Pete Best.” The shocking book details the famous…
Rags
Ass Clowns’ CD Contains Clues to Ex-Drummer’s Murder
An audio expert in the Justice Department issued a statement saying No Talent Ass Clowns‘ front man Lars Gunblade actively planned the death of ex-drummer Vulgar Smith while…
Rags
The No Talent Ass Clowns Want to Play Your Town!
It’s a fairly typical story. A rabid No Talent Ass Clowns fan in Haney, Canada logged onto the Ass Clowns website on April 6 and spent 31 minutes…
Rags
“Ted Nugent Is Gay!” Says Band
In a startling statement, legendary rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns told reporters this morning that controversial rocker Ted Nugent is gay. “Oh, hell, yes!” said the band…
Rags
Ass Clowns’ Drummer Joey Van Dundro Arrested
No Talent Ass Clowns drummer Joey Van Dundro was arrested yesterday, which means each member of the band has been incarcerated within one month. “That must be some…
Rags
Ass Clowns’ Guitarist Vas Defrens Arrested
For the first time in the band’s history, three of the four members of the legendary No Talent Ass Clowns have been arrested within the space of one…
Rags
Ass Clowns Bassist Carnage Smith Arrested Without Charges
The No Talent Ass Clowns‘ bassist Carnage Smith was arrested outside Jerry Gold Recording Studios in Kings Nose, NJ late last night. This is not an unusual occurrence.…
Rags
Lars Gunblade Busted For Possession of 57 Tons of Pot
Legendary No Talent Ass Clowns front man Lars Gunblade was arrested this morning for possession of 57 tons of marijuana by ATF agents who track him throughout the…
Rags
New Limited Edition Lars Gunblade Poster
For a limited time, No Talent Ass Clowns fans can get a special limited edition poster of rock legend, Lars Gunblade. Printed on special recycled smoking papers, the…