Music fans were brutally tased recently by controversial band The No Talent Ass Clowns during a concert at the 40 Watt Club in Athens, Georgia. The audience couldn’t believe what was happening.

Apparently, lead singer Lars Gunblade enjoys using a taser on the front row at Ass Clowns concerts, as Gunblade mentioned in a recent video interview. Athens, Georgia fans were surprised when Gunblade pulled out the taser during their controversial rock ballad “I Finished… Now Get Out!” and started shooting rowdy fans in the front row.

“I thought it was pretty funny,” said No Talent Ass Clowns lead guitarist Vas Defrens. “We’ve never had much respect for the fans anyway but for some reason, the fans in Athens are worse than usual. I’m not sure why but they are. This gig was definitely for the money only. I wouldn’t be coming here unless somebody was paying me to.”

“The 40 Watt Club is only on the map because of bands like R.E.M.,” said front man Lars Gunblade. “We told the fans that we hate R.E.M. and anyone who has ever listened to them. Well, they got hostile so out came Mr. Taser. I zapped about six or eight people this time. There was a lot of rolling around on the floor and people going into convulsions and shit. But, hey, that’s rock and roll, am I right? Anyway, the fans got a rock concert at the 40 Watt Club that was several times better than the worst show we’ve ever done and I nailed probably half the women’s cross country team from Piedmont College. It worked out for me in the end, I suppose.”

40 Watt Club fans were highly critical of the band after the show. “Lars tased my boyfriend,” said Stacy, age 30. “He wasn’t right after that. He just kind of stared and didn’t say anything. While I was backstage banging the band, my boyfriend wondered off in a haze and the cops found him the next day naked at the intersection of Baker and Bloomfield street, right by the Bulldog laundry place. I think there’s a connection to the tasing.”

“I saw some of those poor kids who had been tased leaving the show,” said Bess, an elderly woman who lives near the 40 Watt Club in Athens, Georgia. “They were drooling on themselves, walking in circles and speaking what sounded like Portuguese. It was sad. Naturally, I laughed like hell watching them but, yeah, it was kind of sad.”

Next Rock Concert at the 40 Watt Club Could Mean Dead Fans

“The front row at the 40 Watt Club got off easy this time,” said Gunblade. “That was basically Captain Kirk ordering the phasers on stun. Next time, we put our phasers on kill. All it takes is a little after-market modification, believe me. I’ve heard people say they’d die for rock and roll. Well, we want to see how true that is.”