Manchester female fans at a recent The No Talent Ass Clowns rock concert at Day & Night Cafe attended entirely topless, as demanded by the controversial band’s quite specific contract. Male Manchester fans roared their approval when they saw waves of topless birds arrive at the Night & Day Cafe venue. The guys were especially glad that the air was unusually chilly that night.

“Bloody fantastic!” said No Talent Ass Clowns guitarist Vas Defrens. “A cluster of Manchester’s best breasts on display for our approval. As the great Benny Hill once said, you don’t get many of those to a pound. After awhile though, it got to be less fantastic. As we said in a recent interview, now we’re not so sure this whole topless thing is everything it’s cracked up to be.”

“Night & Day Cafe has a lot of tossers hanging about the place,” said front man Lars Gunblade. “But we wanted to play here because one of our favorite bands, Driveshaft, played here once. The fans got a rock concert at Night & Day Cafe that was only slightly bollocks and I shagged what seemed like an endless wave of bored Manchester housewives.”

Female fans at the popular Manchester venue seemed to enjoy being topless at the rock concert at Night & Day Cafe. “It was alright, I suppose,” said Fiona, a business major from the University of Manchester. “Manchester guys are pretty much wankers anyway so it wasn’t any different really from having my top on. They’d still be feeling me up every 20 seconds.”

“Just appalling,” said Eunice, an OAP who resides near the Night & Day Cafe in Manchester. “Topless women were strutting past my flat on their way to the rock concert at Night & Day Cafe. Several of them taunted me by pressing their naked tits against the windscreen of my car as I was parking. My husband said the topless girls made the top of his head go all funny.”

Next Rock Concert at Night & Day Cafe Could Bring Nude Fans

“We won’t draw the line at topless women at our concerts,” said Gunblade. “The chicks will be 100%, completely naked at the next rock concert at Night & Day Cafe. This is in the works as we speak. For some reason, the bloody Manchester constables seem against our idea. We tried bribing them and nothing. These are Manchester cops we are talkin’ about so none of us can believe they turned down 20,000 quid.”