The No Talent Ass Clowns Platinum Club Announced

In a surprising new development, controversial rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns are demanding that fans pay a yearly fee to be fans.

For $500 a year, members of The No Talent Ass Clowns Platinum Club will be able to purchase the band’s CDs and posters and attend their concerts.

“Without the membership, you won’t have access to us,” said front man Lars Gunblade. “It’s a small price to pay but you’re payin’ it. We have expensive rehab clinics to pay for, designer drugs, escort services, you name it… It adds up.  And frankly, the fans have to shoulder more of the burden.”

Fan reaction has been mixed. “I have no problem with it,” said loyal fan Buford Picklefeather of Perth Amboy, NJ.

“Being part of an exclusive club sounds kind of cool. I wish they’d charge a grand for this privilege,” said Picklefeather as he mailed $500 in crumpled singles to the band.

Other fans aren’t so generous. “I’m not payin’ shit,” remarked T-Bone, an inmate at Attica Prison. ‘Shit. $500? No way. Shit.”

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