Ass On Demand, the controversial new CD by The No Talent Ass Clowns has divided fans and outraged critics with its ass-related content.
“This CD cheapens the band,” said Buford Picklefeather, a fan from Perth Amboy, NJ in attendance at the Occupy Consumption Auditorium movement. “What about the great statements this band has made in the past with songs like ‘Assume the Position’ and ‘I Finished, Now Get Out.’ Now, all the subtle aspects of the music are gone. It’s a shame really. Now, it’s just about ass.”
Critics have been unmerciful. Rolling Stone and Spin called the CD “unbearable, unlistenable and an insult to the human race.” One critic reportedly shot himself to death after listening to just the first two tracks of the CD. The band, as usual, has dissed the critics in return, going so far as to send the dead critic’s relatives another copy of Ass On Demand just in case there was blood or brain matter on their copy.
“This is our greatest album yet!” screamed front man Lars Gunblade to a crowd of drunken fans during a recent performance at Consumption Auditorium. “We rock, we roll, we do all that shit!”