Female fans at a recent The No Talent Ass Clowns rock concert at Verizon Center in Washington DC attended 100% topless, as urgently requested by the band in their contract. Male DC fans were more than happy to see the swarms of half-naked women in the Verizon Center venue, no doubt glad that the arena was unusually cold.

“It was a thing of beauty,” said No Talent Ass Clowns front man Lars Gunblade. “A sea of DC’s finest ta-tas. It made me glad that I’m not dead. And the woody factor? It was 11 and that’s on a scale of 1 to 10. A rock concert at Verizon Center doesn’t get this band all worked up. I mean, how could it? On the other hand, a lot of naked breasts somehow changed our minds a little bit. OK, a lot.”

“I don’t relish going to the Verizon Center. DC is a toilet and the Verizon Center is no better,” said guitarist Vas Defrens. “A rock concert at Verizon Center is like getting kicked hard in the balls as far as I’m concerned. But fans got a somewhat decent rock concert and I nailed a women’s lacrosse team from the University of Maryland so who am I to complain?”

Female fans at the DC arena were totally at ease with being topless at the rock concert at Verizon Center. “I got off on it,” said Becky, a forensics major from Howard University. “I was groped pretty much from the moment I got there. I suppose I would have been rather disappointed if I hadn’t been.”

“Oh, it was unpleasant,” said Betty Lou, an elderly woman who resides near Verizon Center in DC. “Nearly naked young strumpets parading up and down the street in front of my townhouse. I didn’t appreciate it one little bit. After awhile I popped off a couple of shots at them with my shotgun. They didn’t come near after that.”

Next Rock Concert At Verizon Center May Bring Nude Fans

“Chicks topless at concerts? It wasn’t exactly the greatest in a way,” said Gunblade. “We want chicks to be wearing nothing at the next rock concert at Verizon Center but we’re having difficulty with the DC cops for some weird reason. Even bribing them failed. This is kind of unusual since this is the DC police we are talkin’ about.”