Female fans at a recent The No Talent Ass Clowns rock concert at The Masonic in San Francisco attended 100% topless, as was requested by band’s contract. Male San Francisco fans were more than happy to see the groups of half-naked women in The Masonic venue, no doubt glad that the room was unusually cold.

“It was friggin’ amazing,” said No Talent Ass Clowns front man Lars Gunblade. “A sea of the Bay Area’s finest breasts. The trouble is that a rock concert at The Masonic doesn’t get the Ass Clowns too worked up. But the bare tits? Well, that helped a bit.”

“I don’t dig going to The Masonic. San Francisco is a toilet and The Masonic ain’t much better,” said guitarist Vas Defrens. “A rock concert at The Masonic is like getting kicked in the balls by such some chick who isn’t even good looking. But fans got a rock concert that didn’t suck too badly and I nailed a women’s lacrosse team from Berkley. Like I’m gonna complain?”

Female fans at the San Francisco venue were totally at ease with being topless at the rock concert at The Masonic. “I was majorly into it,” said Taffy, a sex education major from UCLA. “I was groped constantly from the moment I got there. It was all like a dream… or whatever that one guy slipped me in my drink before we got there.”

“Oh, it was unpleasant,” said Edna, an elderly woman who resides near The Masonic in San Francisco. “Nearly naked young hussies parading seductively up and down the street in front of my house. I didn’t like it. Eventually, I pulled out my 12-gauge and fired a warning shot at them. They stayed away after that.”

Next Rock Concert At The Masonic May Bring Nude Fans

“Chicks topless at concerts? It wasn’t all that great in a way,” said Gunblade. “We want chicks to be wearing absolutely nothing at the next rock concert at The Masonic but we’re having difficulty with the San Francisco police for some bizarre reason. Even bribing them didn’t work. This is weird since this is the San Francisco cops we are talkin’ about.”