Female fans at a recent The No Talent Ass Clowns rock concert at the Double Door in Chicago attended entirely topless, as was requested by band’s contract. Male Chicago fans were ecstatic when they saw groups of half-naked women in the Double Door venue, glad that the room was quite cold that night.

“I can’t describe it,” said No Talent Ass Clowns front man Lars Gunblade. “A sea of Chicago’s youngest and perkiest breasts. The trouble is that a rock concert at the Double Door isn’t something the Ass Clowns get very worked up about. But topless female fans? Well, that changed things.”

“The Double Door largely sucks. I don’t know why we play here. Chicago holds no allure for us,” said guitarist Vas Defrens. “A rock concert at the Double Door is like being punched hard in the balls by an ugly chick. But fans got a rock concert that wasn’t the worst we’ve ever played and I banged half the women’s lacrosse team from the University of Illinois. Complaining would make me seem a bit ungrateful.”

Female fans at the Chicago venue were comfortable with being topless at the rock concert at the Double Door. “Loved it,” said Fiona, a sultry sex education major from the University of Chicago. “I was shaking my breasts all night and getting waves of applause from the guys and the girls. In retrospect, I suppose that was inappropriate. Although it was a lot more appropriate that what I did after the concert.”

“This is like the downfall of civilization,” said Edwina, an elderly woman who resides near the Double Door in Chicago. “Nearly naked young women parading seductively past my house. Unbelievable! My husband exposed himself to them but they only laughed… much like I’ve done for the last 30 years.”

Next Rock Concert At The Double Door May Bring Nude Fans

“Chicks topless at concerts? Well, I’m not sure it met our expectations, as I recently said in a video interview,” said Gunblade. “Be that as it may, we want chicks to be 100% naked at the next rock concert at the Double Door but we’re having difficulty with the Chicago police department for some weird reason. Even bribing them failed to get their buy-in. These are Chicago cops we are talkin’ about so I don’t get why they refused a bribe.”