Washington D.C. female fans at a recent The No Talent Ass Clowns rock concert at the 9:30 Club attended entirely topless, as stipulated by the band’s contract. Male DC fans hooted their approval when they saw the legions of topless women at the 9:30 Club venue. The guys said they had a great deal of appreciation for the fact that the air was much chillier than normal that evening.

“Awesome? Well, duh!” said No Talent Ass Clowns guitarist Vas Defrens. “A crush of DC’s finest breasts on display for us. It was a degree of awesomeness that is hard to explain so I won’t. Although we did find the experience to be different from what we expected, as we talked about in a recent interview.”

“9:30 Club caters to dumb ass hipsters too much,” said front man Lars Gunblade. “Despite that, we decided to play there anyway. Was it worth it? Hells yeah. The fans got a rock concert at the 9:30 Club that wasn’t a complete embarrassment and I nailed the Catholic University women’s lacrosse team so I’m doing fairly decent.”

Female fans at the DC venue had absolutely no problem with being topless at the rock concert at the 9:30 Club. “It was good,” said Janice, a physics major from Georgetown University. “Every guy wanted to grope me. It was annoying at first but then I told them they could feel me up for 20 bucks a piece. I made like 500 dollars.”

“I didn’t like it,” said Hope, an elderly woman who resides near the 9:30 Club in DC. “Nearly naked little foxes were walking past my house on their way to the rock concert at the 9:30 Club. Several of them taunted me by pressing their breasts against my dining room windows. Eventually, I couldn’t take any more and I threw my bible at them but they just said that their name was Legion for they were many. Whatever that means.”

Next Rock Concert at the 9:30 Club Could Bring Nude Fans

“Topless women at our concerts? Believe me, we’re just getting started,” said Gunblade. “The chicks will be completely naked at the next rock concert at the 9:30 Club. That’s the plan anyway. For some reason, the DC police department seems to be against our genius idea. We tried bribing them and still nothing. Bupkis. These are DC cops we are talkin’ about so it’s unusual that we’re having this much difficulty.”