Colorado female fans at a recent The No Talent Ass Clowns rock concert at Red Rocks Amphitheater attended wearing no tops, as specifically requested by the band in their contract. Male Colorado fans were very happy to see the throngs of bare-breasted women at the Red Rocks venue, no doubt glad that the air was so cold that night.

“Very, very nice,” said No Talent Ass Clowns front man Lars Gunblade. “An ocean of Colorado’s finest breasts on display. The woody factor? Let’s just say, yeah, big time. You know, we only came to Red Rocks because friggin’ U2 scored big back in ’83 just because they played in the rain. We got there and there was no rain at all and it sucked. The topless thing, though, was fairly decent compensation.”

“There was no rain so what’s the point?” said guitarist Vas Defrens. “A rock concert at Red Rocks is pointless if you’re not going to get rained on. But fans got an average rock concert and I made it with about a quarter of women’s soccer team from the University of Colorado so I’m not exactly complaining here, bitch.”

Female fans at the Colorado venue were completely into being topless at the rock concert at Red Rocks. “Worked for me,” said Staci, a biology major from the University of Colorado. “There were hands all over me every minute I was there. Guys and girls, which kind of surprised me. Although I can’t say that I minded too much. Actually, I didn’t mind at all. I totally got off on it.”

“Oh, I was sickened,” said Beatrice, an elderly woman who resides several miles from the Red Rocks Amphitheater. “Nearly naked little harlots were wondering up and down the road in front of my trailer on their way to the rock concert at Red Rocks. I unleashed all kinds of rude comments but they seemed to like it. Nudity is not natural. These young people just don’t get it.”

Next Rock Concert At Red Rocks May Bring Nude Fans

“Chicks topless? We have more planned than that,” said Gunblade. “We want chicks to be nude, I mean completely nude, at the next rock concert at Red Rocks. For some reason, the Colorado cops aren’t liking this idea. We tried bribing them and nothing. This is the Colorado police we are talkin’ about so that’s kind of unusual.”