Minneapolis female fans at a recent The No Talent Ass Clowns rock concert at First Avenue attended wearing no tops, as very specifically requested by the band in their contract. Male Minneapolis fans were intensely glad to see the bevy of topless women at the First Avenue venue, no doubt glad that the air was very cold that evening.

“The sight was not unpleasant,” said No Talent Ass Clowns front man Lars Gunblade. “An ocean of Minneapolis’ finest hooters on display. Was there a woody factor going on for me? Yeah, you could say that! However, I later had my doubts about this whole idea.”

“U2 wrote some of their album October during a sound check at First Avenue,” said guitarist Vas Defrens. “That was their worst album ever. I mean ‘I Threw a Brick Through a Window’ was good but the BBC version was infinitely superior to the mix that Steve friggin’ Lillywhite produced for the album. But I digress. Anyway, I figured maybe we could write something during our sound check and totally blow U2 away, which admittedly isn’t all that hard to do. At any rate, the fans got a rock concert that didn’t suck too badly and I made it with an entire women’s basketball team from the University of Minnesota so I’m in pretty good shape.”

Female fans at the Minneapolis venue were at ease being topless at the rock concert at First Avenue. “Did it work for me? Yeah, you bet,” said Kim, a forensics major from the University of Minnesota. “I thought I was going to be gang-raped every moment and that just added to the overall atmosphere. I was repulsed, yet oddly excited.”

“Oh, I was sickened,” said Debby, an elderly woman who resides near the First Avenue venue. “Practically naked little vixens were walking seductively up and down the street in front of my apartment on their way to the rock concert at First Avenue. It made me want to puke. In fact, I puked all night and into the morning. It was kind of cathartic in a way.”

Next Rock Concert At First Avenue May Bring Nude Fans

“Topless chicks? No, no, it ain’t gonna stop there, bitch,” said Gunblade. “We want chicks to be full-on naked, I mean completely nude, at the next rock concert at First Avenue. Yeah, that dumb shit Miley Cyrus is planning a naked music video for ‘The Milky Milky Milk.’ So what? We talking about a real concert, not some staged video. We’ve been doing this since before little Miley had pubes. She’s gettin’ to the naked party a little late but that’s typical for her.”