Ever the innovators, controversial rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns have released their new single on an Edison cylinder… a format dead since the late 1910’s. Whisper to the Thunder appeared this morning in stores across the country, much to the bewilderment of many customers. “What the f*ck is this?” remarked Dan J., a customer […]
Archive for the ‘Latest Ass Clown Updates’ Category
Ass Clowns Release New Single Exclusively on Edison Cylinder
Posted: 5th September 2012 by Lucky in Latest Ass Clown UpdatesTags: edison cylinders, whisper to the thunder
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“Centralia concert will happen!” says band
Posted: 28th August 2012 by Lucky in Latest Ass Clown UpdatesTags: Centralia PA, free concert
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Controversial rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns announced this morning that their aborted free concert in Centralia, PA will happen in the next few months. “I can tell you the concert is back on,” said front man Lars Gunblade. “But this time it will totally be in secret… Very much on the DL [down low]. […]
Ass Clowns’ Manager & Roadie Found. Free Centralia Concert Cancelled.
Posted: 8th August 2012 by Lucky in Latest Ass Clown UpdatesTags: Free Centralia concert, no talent ass clowns
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A shaken Jerry Gold addressed reporters this morning shortly after being found wandering naked on a PA back road with Ass Clowns’ roadie “Rando” Miller. He seemed dazed and struggled to find words. “There will be no free Centralia concert on August 11,” said the Ass Clowns’ manager in a low, trembling voice. “I am […]
Ass Clowns’ tour van found empty outside Centralia–roadie, manager missing
Posted: 7th August 2012 by Lucky in Latest Ass Clown UpdatesTags: Centralia PA, free concert
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A tour van that had traveled to Centralia, PA over the weekend to prepare for a free No Talent Ass Clowns concert on August 11 was found empty about 80 miles from the deserted town famous for its underground coal fire. A search has provided no clues to the whereabouts of the occupants of the […]
Virgins Selected For Sacrifice at Centralia PA Concert
Posted: 1st August 2012 by Lucky in Latest Ass Clown UpdatesComments Off on Virgins Selected For Sacrifice at Centralia PA Concert
Legendary rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns announced the five girls who will be sacrificed as virgins at the conclusion of their controversial free concert in Centralia, PA on August 11. Chosen from dozens of applicants, the girls are scheduled to be consumed in flames while the band performs their new song, Burn You To […]
Ass Clowns Release New CD Amid Centralia Concert Controversy
Posted: 25th July 2012 by Lucky in Latest Ass Clown UpdatesTags: Centralia PA, free concert
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With their controversial concert in Centralia, PA fast approaching, The No Talent Ass Clowns have released their newest CD entitled Express Elevator To Hell. According to industry insiders, the band is especially excited by their latest CD and believe this may the CD that finally breaks into the top 10,000 on the charts. “This is […]
Controversial Centralia PA Concert May Draw 200
Posted: 23rd July 2012 by Lucky in Latest Ass Clown UpdatesTags: centralia, free concert, virgin sacrifice
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Legendary rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns say their free concert in the abandoned town of Centralia, PA on August 11 where they will sacrifice five virgins onstage could draw 200 concertgoers. “Hell, yeah!” said drummer Joey Van Dundro, “With social media, word about this free concert has spread like wildfire. The whole virgin sacrifice […]
Centralia, PA: Free Concert With Virgin Sacrifices
Posted: 19th July 2012 by Lucky in Latest Ass Clown UpdatesTags: free concert, Gods of Rock, virgin sacrifices
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In a press conference aboard their tour blimp, controversial rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns announced they will perform a free concert in Centralia, PA on Saturday, August 11 where they will sacrifice five nude virgins onstage. The band will take the stage at noon and sacrifice the girls during the final song, which is […]
Band to Sacrifice Virgins During Upcoming Concert
Posted: 6th July 2012 by Lucky in Latest Ass Clown UpdatesTags: Gods of Rock, Virgin sacrifce
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Legendary band The No Talent Ass Clowns have something new for an upcoming concert–they plan to sacrifice five virgins live. “Yeah, we’re f-ing doin’ it!” said controversial front man Lars Gunblade during an interview with Rock Wasteland magazine. “Five virgins will be sacrificed to the Gods of Rock live on stage. It’s going to be […]
Bass Player Carnage Smith Popular With Ass Clown Fans
Posted: 25th June 2012 by Lucky in Latest Ass Clown UpdatesComments Off on Bass Player Carnage Smith Popular With Ass Clown Fans
“He’s f-ing nuts,” says front man Lars Gunblade. “The other day, he got completely drunk and belligerent during a weekend session, belittled the rest of the band, took a dump on Joey’s drum kit and walked out when he realized we’d run out of pot. That’s the spirit of rock and roll, baby!” “Carnage is […]