Other bands have tour buses but now legendary rock band, The No Talent Ass Clowns, have recently launched the world’s first tour blimp. With it, they plan to finish out their “Say Hello To My Posterior” tour dates for this year. “Yeah, Led Zeppelin had their stupid jet plane,” said Ass Clowns front man, Lars […]

After years of delays, No, Not There! Records announced yesterday that The No Talent Ass Clowns will finally be available on Guitar Hero. The much-anticipated release of their biggest hit, “Blow Chunks Ballet,” has Guitar Hero fans anxious to try imitating Vas Defrens’ tricky guitar solo. “You can play the song all you want but […]

The music video for Ass of Mass Destruction has been banned by every broadcast outlet in the US. Consequently sales for the Pucker Factor CD have dropped out of the top 50,000. “We’re excited, sure,” says Ass Clowns drummer, Joey Van Dundro. “But nobody has seen the f**king thing. Yeah, Pucker Factor as an album […]

Vulgar Smith, the ex-drummer for The No Talent Ass Clowns has been found dead in a Key West hotel room. The cause of death has not been disclosed. Already fingers are beginning to point to The No Talent Ass Clowns’ singer, Lars Gunblade. “Vulgar had just written a blog that has a vicious review of […]

Rock fans have known for years that Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters and Lars Gunblade of The No Talent Ass Clowns are sworn enemies. In interviews, both have sometimes confirmed the rumors and denied them. Sometimes, the two have even denied knowing each other. This photo, taken during their furtive attempt to record material […]

Lars Gunblade, the controversial lead singer of the No Talent Ass Clowns, was arrested outside Consumption Auditorium after a scuffle with an angry fan. “This is bullshit. I deserve a medal for beating up stupid fans!” shouted Gunblade just before police officers tased him a total of 17 times. Police say Gunblade provoked a fight […]

New York City officials aren’t happy about what the new Ass House Restaurant calls its V.I.P. club—The Back Door Club. “The Ass House was one thing,” said Jim Tomes of the Mayor’s office. “But the Back Door Club is an insult to everyone in New York City who doesn’t partake of unnatural acts.” The Ass […]

Just announced. Brand new No Talent Ass Clowns merchandise is here! Have the great rock band on earth on a t-shirt, a trucker’s hat or a thong–or all three! Tell the world you’re an ass clown! Just stop by the “Dress Like An Ass Clown” page for details. Lead singer Lars Gunblade has already said […]

By Vulgar Smith, Ex-No Talent Ass Clowns Drummer Somebody make Lars Gunblade stop! First, we get his self-serving autobiography, “Am I Great Or What?” and now we get the rock star’s newest ego trip—a coffee table book of self-indulgent photography. Five pages of photos showing cigarette butts in the gutter? A chapter devoted to photos […]