Buford Picklefeather (undated photo)
Buford Picklefeather of Perth Amboy, NJ was found dead in his prison cell early Sunday morning. Picklefeather, who was awaiting trial for kidnapping world famous rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns, was discovered with multiple blunt force trauma injuries to his face and neck.
Suspicion was aroused when authorities learned that the band visited Picklefeather 10 minutes before he was discovered dead.
“He hit his face against the bars, got it?” said the band’s front man, Lars Gunblade during a press conference at a Kings Nose strip club. “Case closed. Let’s not discuss this scumbag any more, OK?”
“I second that emotion,” added guitarist Vas Defrens. “The guy’s a dick. We just– somebody just saved the taxpayers a lot of money.”
Readers of The No Talent Ass Clowns Official Worship Site will no doubt remember how often Buford Picklefeather complained about being quoted without his permission. The website owner would just like to add that Picklefeather’s passing is no loss to the planet Earth.