Vas at the Ass House opening

Lead guitarist Vas Defrens of the legendary rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns was on hand recently to dedicate the opening of his new business venture, The Ass House restaurant in New York City. Other rock stars were conspicuously absent. Rumors are spreading that it is Defrens and his obsession with ass-related subjects that has “doomed” the band.

Vulgar Smith, the late Ass Clowns ex-drummer told Rolling Stone, “they were on their way to being a real band. Then, Vas got into all this ass stuff. It used to be about the music, now it’s just about asses. Lars is doing the right thing doing solo albums and getting out of the band… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that last bit out loud.”

Smith and the Ass Clowns parted ways years ago when Smith refused to use a drum stool that looked like a woman’s naked ass that Defrens had made especially for one of the band’s first tours before they had a record contract.

“I have no regrets,” said Smith shortly before his death. “These guys are messed up in a major way.”