“We’re a fake band and always have been!” declared guitarist Vas Defrens of The No Talent Ass Clowns during a press conference last week. “Fake, fake, fake. Who names a band that anyway? It’s a dead giveaway that the whole thing’s a sham. We’re not touring. We’re not releasing albums. You’ve all been had.” Other […]

Controversial No Talent Ass Clowns guitarist Vas Defrens married porn star Trixie Beaumont at the musician’s “Rectal Hall” estate in Montana on Saturday. The two have been an item for several years so the super-secret wedding didn’t come as a surprise to fans. Known for his shocking perversity, Defrens sent an semi X-rated invitation to […]

J.D. Salinger made certain no one would ever make a film of his book “The Catcher in the Rye”… or so he thought. Turns out rock bad boy band The No Talent Ass Clowns will produce a film version of Salinger’s famous book and have hinted that teen heartthrob (and confirmed major pothead) Justin Bieber […]

The No Talent Ass Clowns plans to play an impromptu outdoor concert last night in Gooseberry Mound Park in Fargo, North Dakota while completely naked failed miserably. Six minutes after hitting the stage in the raw during a historic “polar vortex” that plunged temperatures to -30, band members staggered back to their dressing rooms where […]

Infamous No Talent Ass Clowns singer Lars Gunblade has one thing to say to his legions of fans… don’t look at him. “I’ve been hearing these stories about B-list TV actors who insist that extras don’t look at them on set,” said Gunblade during a press conference aboard the band’s tour blimp. “And I thought, […]

World famous rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns recently took some time out of their busy touring schedule to hang out with TwaüghtHammër, a local Albuquerque, New Mexico metal band. Between playing Rage and a lengthy meth bender, the two bands forged common ground. “We really dug their drummer… some strung-out guy named Jesse,” said […]

Rock bad boys The No Talent Ass Clowns will soon release a compressed CD that will destroy most sound systems it’s played on. Entitled Brain Dump, the new album creates a sound so distorted by compression that it will shatter most speakers currently available. “I really felt the tracks needed more compression,” said producer Bruce […]

No Talent Ass Clowns guitarist Vas Defrens has never allowed anyone to visit his Rectal Hall estate in northern Montana… until now. The No Talent Ass Clowns Worship Site was given exclusive access to Rectal Hall last week, making us the only media outlet ever to go inside Defrens’ home. Upon entering the main hall, […]

In the aftermath of discovering that disgraced politician Anthony Weiner sexted under the name “Carlos Danger,” we at the Ass Clowns Worship Site noticed something peculiar… a certain “Carlos Danger” commented on a number of Ass Clown blogs starting in 2010 and his posts stopped the minute this story broke. Could it be that Weiner […]

Vas Defrens, bad-boy guitarist of The No Talent Ass Clowns, says he’s OK with the band’s plan to split. In an interview with Rock Wasteland Magazine, Defrens says he plans to spend more time working on his Ass Collection at his “Rectal Hall” estate in Montana. “I have an entire ass room,” admitted Defrens. “Everything […]