A virulent strain of social disease has been named after legendary band The No Talent Ass Clowns. Named “Assclownus-burning-urineus,” the disease is unique to Ass Clown band members and their legions of groupies. “It’s a persistent disease,” said Dr. Winston O’Boogie. “Some members of the band, I won’t say who, have horribly disfigured genitalia due […]

Legendary bad boy rock guitarist Vas Defrens checked into an unnamed hospital in LA yesterday, making it the 42nd time he’s done so in the last two years. A nervous hospital spokesman assured press members that Defrens was simply “exhausted” and nothing more needed to be said or written about it. Here is part of […]

To the surprise of the rest of the band, No Talent Ass Clowns front man Lars Gunblade announced a brief solo tour in March. “Yeah, I needed to get away from the rest of the band,” said Gunblade during a hastily called press conference aboard the band’s tour blimp. “They suck and I wanted to […]

The No Talent Ass Clowns say they have finally found out their purpose… sponsoring 20 million dollars to restore cult favorite film, Manos, the Hands of Fate: Manos: The Hands of Fate (Clip #1) from Manos in HD on Vimeo. “We feel this film is pretty much the greatest film ever made,” said front man, […]

No Talent Ass Clowns‘ front man Lars Gunblade says God has told him to live a life of sex, drugs and rock and roll. “Yes, it’s true. I’m on a mission from God,” says Gunblade. “I have asked his guidance to sell more concert seats than other rock groups. He has agreed that I totally […]

Recently, The No Talent Ass Clowns told Rock Wasteland Magazine about their favorite music videos. At first, they resisted giving an answer. After a barrage of f-words, they finally revealed their choices. Their choices would frighten most people. For front man Lars Gunblade, it was this one. “I love this. It’s what all music videos […]

Protests have erupted nationwide over the release of the latest No Talent Ass Clowns‘ CD Ass On Demand. The most aggressive protests have been in Kings Nose, NJ, where the infamous band got their start in the early 1990s. “Ass, ass, ass, that’s all this band is about!” said Rev. Jake J. Weatherspoon of Kings […]

                Lars Gunblade’s first solo CD, Songs About Stuff, hit the street Tuesday in a deluxe edition that included half-smoked joints, a used condom, women’s panties and an all-access pass to the No Talent Ass Clowns’ latest tour. “It’s gives you a feeling of life backstage for me,” […]

Ass On Demand, the controversial new CD by The No Talent Ass Clowns has divided fans and outraged critics with its ass-related content. “This CD cheapens the band,” said Buford Picklefeather, a fan from Perth Amboy, NJ in attendance at the Occupy Consumption Auditorium movement. “What about the great statements this band has made in […]