Two years ago, The No Talent Ass Clowns had their first concert where all female concertgoers were requested to be topless. Last night, the legendary bad boys of rock went all the way and demanded all female attendees be completely naked during their Consumption Auditorium show. Despite protests in front of the venue, the response […]

Legendary guitarist Vas Defrens of The No Talent Ass Clowns released a statement this morning saying that he has closed his infamous Ass House restaurant in New York. Since its opening three years ago, the Ass House has been a controversial presence in the Big Apple. When death threats steadily increased against Defrens , the […]

Just when you thought a story couldn’t get weirder. Now adding to the controversy surrounding Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o and his imaginary girlfriend, Lennay Kekua, is the legendary bad boys of rock, The No Talent Ass Clowns. In a press conference this morning, the rockers claim that they all dated Lennay Kekua. “Well, ‘dated’ […]

Rock Wasteland‘s January 2013 issue is not going to be one of Lars Gunblade’s favorites. The No Talent Ass Clowns front man is the subject of the feature article and it’s not pretty. Entitled “Lars Gunblade: Major Rocker… Or Major Dick?,” the article by Chuck Chadwell presents Gunblade as a talentless egomaniac who is guilty […]

Legendary rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns announced this morning that they have hired alternate musicians to portray the band for many concert appearances in 2013. The band declined to name the four Latino musicians who will play at least 70% of the band’s concerts around the world. “We love playing concerts,” said front […]

Stop the presses. Legendary rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns did nothing yesterday. They didn’t play a concert, they didn’t have a recording session, they didn’t write any songs, they didn’t get drunk or high, they didn’t even hold one of their famous marathon sex parties. They did nothing. “Yeah, it’s true,” said singer Lars […]

In a move that shocked NASA scientists, rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns have flown a spacecraft to Mars for no other purpose than to harass the Curiosity Rover on the surface. “We’re trying to do some low-level passes to see if we can knock it over and break it,” said front man Lars […]

Legendary rock band The No Talent Ass Clowns will be the first band in history to tour in a sub-orbital plane. The band held a standing-room-only press conference aboard their touring blimp this morning to announce the maiden voyage of their sub-orbital plane on October 6. Band members admitted they stole the design from someone […]