Lars Gunblade

No Talent Ass Clowns singer Lars Gunblade is in hot water with fans after stating at a press conference that the band’s fans are “nothing more than developmentally challenged cretins.”

Flanked by two naked groupies, Gunblade was discussing the band’s tour when he went off on his fans. “Really, come on. They’re stupid. No offense or anything but they really are nothing more than developmentally challenged cretins. You know, the kind of people you do telethons for. But don’t take that the wrong way.”

Response was immediate and surprising. Ticket sales increased 25% and CD sales jumped 34%. However, this didn’t surprise Gunblade. “Me and my fans understand each other,” said Gunblade after the press conference. “They know I’m going to treat them like garbage and they love it. Who wouldn’t?”