No Talent Ass Clowns pregnancies are legendary… so much so that the band has released a chart showing just how many groupies each band member has impregnated over the years.

“The chart’s totally awesome,” says the band’s bass player. “In terms of knocked-up groupies, I’m way behind Lars. Guess I got some catching up to do.”

“Kind of adds up over the years doesn’t it?” remarked singer Lars Gunblade as he led a dazed groupie to one of the hot tubs aboard the band’s new tour blimp. “I hope I’m next,” added the groupie as she slipped off her clothes.

Guitarist Vas Defrens waxed philosophical about the chart. “The No Talent Ass Clowns’ music is all about doin’ it and this is just a natural consequence of that, right?”

Bassist Carnage Smith remarked, “Guess I have some catching up to do!” when he noticed that he had gotten the least number of groupies preggers.

Drummer Joey Van Dundro seems embarrassed by the chart. “I just don’t want these chicks comin’ back and asking for money. Hell, as far as I’m concerned, they were lucky to get me for free in the first place!”