Red Rocks looks large in rock history. But not for one band. Legendary rockers The No Talent Ass Clowns are mad that their experience at Red Rocks Amphitheater was “shit” compared to U2’s famous 1983 concert at the same venue.
“We showed up and gave a concert. That’s it. Basically, nothing happened,” said front man Lars Gunblade. “It was just a concert. Why was U2 given God-like status for their concert at Red Rocks? Tell me that! This is just another reason that Bono pisses me off. And I’ve got a long list of reasons. Personal reasons.”
“It didn’t rain, that was depressing,” said guitarist Vas Defrens. “I was hoping the lightning would come and one of us or all of us would be electrocuted and we’d burst into flames and shit. That would have outdone U2 in a big way. But it didn’t happen. The whole thing was just a big let down. Even the groupies after the show weren’t that great. Except for Annette. Man, that thing you did with the thing? That was awesome. You gotta join us on tour. Next time, we want to film you doing that. It was definitely a talent you got going on. I’m like totally serious, man.”
“I can’t imagine the Ass Clowns ever coming back to Red Rocks,” said Gunblade. “Seriously, why would we? There are plenty of other venues out there and plenty of groupies we haven’t even tapped yet. So, we’re moving on. Red Rocks is definitely in our rear view mirror.”